Alone man in a blue winter

This is what I chose
Then why do I feel so dead?
This emotion I cannot name
On the run with a price upon my head

Words I cannot form
Thoughts I shudder to speak
Courage long gone
My words numbered, my actions meek

Tears become acid
As they stream from my eyes
I cannot control the sobs
When I think of all the lies

I had to do this, it’s the only way
I have to keep my distance
I have to stay away
“We never really fit” I say

My life in exile
Shunned by family and friends
I cannot bear it, too much to take
Please wake me when it ends

Unkempt sorrow
Pierces through flesh and bone
Realisation finally hit
I am alone...........